Minnesota "Nice", Down and Dirty

A Year Has Passed

March 1st marked a year since my dad left us.  Not on purpose, mind you; but it was his time.  March 1st wasn't a hard day for me, because we always have a wonderful celebration on that very day, every year:  Kierstyn's birthday.  That's a great thing, but I honestly don't think that a particular day will ever elicit sadness or an additional amount of "missing". 

I've never been a "on this day, X years ago, this happened", type of person.  Because the day itself really doesn't matter that much to me.  It is the every day things that can bring those types of feelings; things I notice that my dad is missing out on, or would really enjoy.

Of course, the first year will naturally be the hardest, and I think that an additional amount of difficulty resided with me because of Tyler.  It sucks having a new baby that I know my dad would have loved to see, and as he continues to grow and change, and not have dad here.  Tyler will do something funny or cute, and I will think, "I should call my dad...he'd love it!".  But, of course, I can't.  He won't ever be able to take pictures of Tyler kicking his first ball, or smearing his first birthday cake all over his head.  He'll never get to see the amazing way the older 3 kids interact with Tyler, and how a fascinated Tyler reacts to them.  He'll never see how much he is missed, and Tyler will never know what he will be missing out on.

Sometimes I even forget that he is gone.  When Kevin and I took our motorcycle ride up to Duluth for our anniversary, we went through Mora, which is where my dad spent his summers with his grandparents.  I literally reached for my phone to call him, to find out where the farm was, so we could drive past it.  That didn't work out so well, eh? Then, when Kevin and I were in the Bahamas a few weeks ago (or was it a lifetime ago??), we were on the private island having an awesome time, which was usually when I'd pick up the phone to tell my dad the crazy things I was doing, just to make him laugh.  He liked my crazy side. Truly appreciated it, like nobody else ever has (or probably ever will)!

Today, nothing in particular made me start thinking about him; I just did.  So, I Googled him just to "see" him a little bit more.  The first thing I found, was his obituary on-line.  Then, I found an article from a Barbershop bulletin that talked about him, shortly after his death.  Then, I found a website for a lens cleaning solution that my dad had written a review for.  It was weird seeing something he wrote!  I could just see him typing away excitedly, anticipating all the fame he would have after everyone sees how great he thinks the solution is.  He was so hair-brained, but sincere.  (Hey, the hair had to come from somewhere!) 

It really made me miss him, and I decided I'd Google him some more another day.  I'd had enough for today. I miss him enough.

Thinking of you, Dad.

A Sad Day in our City

First off, thank you to those of you who reached out to me, making sure we were all okay. Most of you know that both Kevin and I are salespeople and are often in and out, around town. And as a family we're on the go too. Thankfully, we were not on that stretch of road on Wednesday. We were last Friday and this Monday, as well as many, many other times, probably an average of 12 times per month. We were also very concerned about friends and colleagues being victims (which is why I took so long to post).

Second, please excuse any typos or poor paragraphing (it's a word), as I'm doing this from the road on my Blackberry.

Anyhoo, thankfully, the closest we are is 2 degrees of separation, as one of our friends' neighbors were in their family minivan when tragedy struck. The wife had emergency brain surgery, the husband and 2 kids had crushed vertebrate. They fell 70 feet and landed on their roof--amazing they are still alive.

Anyway, we've been reeling a bit, glued to the latest updates, happily receiving calls and emails from friends and colleagues, and focusing on the positive. That's all one can do in a situation like this.

Will this happen again? Who knows. Freaky things happen all the time, but we can't live our lives in fear. There is too much joy to be had. Dwelling isn't worth it.

What we can do, however, is donate blood, which is exactly what I'm doing next week. Someone will likely benefit from my rare blood type! I just wish I could do more.

Our lives will be marked by this forever, and inconvenienced for a period of time as well. The inconvenience is no big deal in the scheme of things, but the rest sure makes me remember how lucky I have it, and how thankful I am that we were untouched.

Be safe, be thankful, and remember to never take life for granted. Oh yeah, and also continue to read my blog!!

Happy weekend, and be prepared for a fun update next week! I'm heading north to my friend's cabin girl's weekend! Woo-hoo!

8/8/07:  I did this from my BB on Friday, and it showed up as a post on Typepad, but not on my blog.  Not sure what happened, but I'm so sorry for the delay (and the worry from some of you!)!!  SPT

Rest In Peace, JP

Well, shortly after I posted the latest news about my dad, he finally succombed to the pancreatic cancer that made the past 18 months a struggle for him.  Good ol' JP died at 2:40 yesterday afternoon (central time, of course), and my mom and I were with him as he slipped into the next phase of his life.  It was strangely surreal and beautiful to see.  Kind of like seeing a baby born or something.  As soon as it was over, his face had no wrinkles and he looked about 20 years younger. So strange.

After watching him struggle and hurt for so long, and then to slip so quickly after only 2 days in hospice care, it was a blessing to see him go so quickly, and so peacefully.  I'm very blessed to have been there with him, and to have had the time with him that meant so much to both of us.

Anyway, I'm in Iowa at least til Saturday morning, since there are blizzards everywhere (both here and at home) and I don't really feel like going anywhere quite yet anyway.  It's just my mom and me, since no other family lives around here.  She's doing spectacularly well (considering), as am I, but it just isn't time to leave yet.  I think we also need some time for it all to sink in, and I certainly don't want to leave her alone yet. 

The service will be on Saturday, March 17, at 11 am, at Norwalk Methodist Church.  My brother already had his flight booked, my dad wanted his service on a Saturday (specifically at 11 am!), and because my dad donated his body to medical research at a local university (thus, no reason for a "viewing" or anything prior), we felt as though it would be nice to give everyone time to plan for his "CELEBRATION OF LIFE!" service.

We are doing well.  But we already miss him.

Tick, Tick, Tick...

Sorry to be MIA once again. I haven't even done my weekly baby blog update!  I've been back in Iowa since Tuesday morning, as my mom called on Monday afternoon saying, "I need you.  Please come help."  Since I wasn't too keen (nor was she, or my hubby) on me driving by myself in the dark on potentially slippery roads, I waited til Tuesday morning to take off.  I got to their house just in time to be there for the home hospice nurse, and to help my dad make the decision to go to in-hospice care.

Poor JP went from a slow decline, to a fairly quick decline in the matter of 2 days (I guess it started getting "bad" on Sunday).  He hadn't eaten (still hasn't) since Sunday.  The home hospice nurse noticed several physical signs that his body doesn't have much longer, thus the hospice suggestion.  My dad has developed that confusion.  He began to need oxygen...just some at first, and now he is on it 24/7.  Whenever asked, he will not admit pain or discomfort, even though he writhed around, moaning.  It was time.

We got to the hospice place (it is very beautiful, and the staff is fantastic, by the way!) on Tuesday afternoon, and he immediately changed.  It was as though he no longer felt like he was a burden, and could finally relax and let nature take its course.  He completely stopped eating (or caring to eat for the sake of pleasing us), drinking (and in fact, can no longer swallow well), and has not been out of bed since late afternoon on Tuesday.  He can't speak much...maybe he can eek out 5 words the entire day, mostly consisting of "yes" or "no".  They finally gave him a catheter last night to relieve his bladder, which was good, because he couldn't communicate effectively if he needed to go (and so he didn't), or else he just didn't want to get up. 

I have not left here since getting provisions on Tuesday evening.  I'm sleeping in his room, which has a nice little family "suite" with a horribly uncomfortable twin sleeper sofa, refrigerator, additional TV and furniture (and a door for privacy).  My mom goes home each night to get some decent rest, and then comes a bit later in the morning. 

He is definitely declining with each passing hour, and likely only has a day or two left.  And, quite frankly, we will all be relieved when his pain and suffering ends.  It's been a tough battle for good ol' JP!  One bravely fought, even though he knew the outcome. 

My mom and I are doing well.  He made everything very easy for us (my word, this is THE most organized "death" I have ever been aware of!), both from an emotional, and practical standpoint.  We both realize that new emotions and thoughts will emerge once he does finally succomb to his death, but feel well-prepared for those too.  Only time will tell, right?

We've decided (well, my mom decided) to wait and have his service on March 17, because my brother had already planned to be out here, it is a Saturday (which my dad wanted), and will give everyone attending--and us--the time to prepare and make travel, etc, arrangements.  It is no rush.  My dad is donating his body to research at Des Moines University (I think...it used to be the College of Osteopathic Medicine), so we don't have the "traditional" stuff to worry about. 

And, as per my dad's desires, it will be a celebration of life! That should be easy to do. :-) 

I will update as things change and progress.

An Update, At Last!

So sorry I have really not been great about updating my blog lately.  I do make sure and update our baby's blog weekly, with belly pictures and such.  I will try to update this one at least weekly as well, and I will REALLY try to be better.  I do have reasons for my absence though, and they are very good ones. 

I have had to prioritize a bit.  For one thing, I had to head out to Florida for a 5 day business conference.  There isn't even time to pee between meetings, let alone update my blog.  By the time I would get back to my room at night, I would be ready to collapse into my (very comfortable) bed.  Thankfully, I have a lot of support folks who basically do my work for me during that time. 

Florida was pretty chilly, not unlike Arizona.  Yes, this horrible weather follows me everywhere, but hopefully in another month or two Kevin and I can take a "babymoon" before our little dude arrives.  Back to Florida...our rooms were very nice.  We stayed at the Marriott at Sawgrass, so pretty posh.  The place we stayed at last year (in Orlando) was not as comfy, and I had to walk for-EVER to get anywhere. Being that I had a partially detached leg (due to my ACL tear), it was crap. So, since I'm pregnant this year, it was awesome to have a room nearby, as well as a VERY comfortable bed. 

My personal highlight was, as usual, the awards dinner. Not only is the food usually great (though this year I was focused on dessert...which is good, since the meal wasn't all that good!), but I always love picking up my President's Club plaque thingy, and having the ability to feel proud of my hard work--there were too many years where I felt like I was working my butt off, and never accomplished a thing and was completely broke.  Too bad I can't take the trip this year on St. John's island, due to my pregnancy.  Such a bummer, but oh well!  Priorities, folks. I'm hoping to see if they can give me the money that they would have spent on me (and Kevin) and just take our own trip.

I had until February 1st to continue as a Silver Elite member of Northwest Airlines.  I was extremely lucky to be able to take advantage of my status on both legs of my trip.  I was upgraded to first, which was fantastic, considering I got full meals both times, as well as plenty of leg room for the 3 hour trip.  Hooray! 

I do have to tell you this, however, which made me chuckle.  The former head coach of the Minnesota Vikings (Mike Tice) was on our flight back from Jacksonville.  There were 6 or 7 of us from the same company who had gotten bumped up to first.  All seats were filled, except the one next to me.  I truly thought he'd be sitting next to me.  When he walked alllllll the way back in coach class (which is, of course, where *I* should have been sitting!), I just got the biggest laugh out of it!  Ha ha!  Guess you really AREN'T better than everyone else, despite your thinking so. 

I actually have reason for feeling that way.  My neighbor's wife and another woman I know (who is totally trustworthy on the topic) were hit on by Mike Tice (who is also married, by the way) a few years ago.  When they rebuffed his advances, he said, "Don't you know who I am??", and scoffed at them.  Um...yes, but that doesn't mean they particularly care! So, the whole airplane thing was funny to me.  And, how much fun that I got an upgrade on the VERY last day I could?  I'm now just a regular NWA passenger with no privileges at all.  Which is fine by me, considering the fact that I'm much more settled and don't care to fly as much! 

......................................

The other reason I've been a bit MIA is a very serious one.  While I was in Florida, I got a yucky call from my dad that his CT scan results were not good.  Despite having falsely improved blood tests a couple weeks ago, his cancer has spread significantly into his liver, as well as another large tumor on his pancreas.  His oncologist told him that he'd have probably only 1-2 more months to live.  While that was a fairly big surprise (considering his improved blood test numbers), it wasn't unexpected at least at some point.  After working through it in my head, it's much easier to take.  Why?  Well, it sucks to suffer like a person with cancer typically suffers.  And, as my dad and I keep talking about, death is a natural part of life.  This is how it is supposed to work:  you lose the older people in your life, and really should never, EVER lose a child.  Now *that* my friends, would be "unfair".  This...is  a sucky part of life.  Needless to say, we're spending a good portion of our time down in Iowa tying up loose ends (I get to take his obituary picture this weekend, once he gets a haircut--ha!), and spending time with him before he has to make his unscheduled departure.

Of course, JP is pulling through with his usual, continuous, whopping-good attitude.  And, that is a huge part of it!  His goal is to finish the book he is writing, and to live to see his next birthday on August 30.  Not a bad goal!  I'd love to see him feel well, period...and then feel well for a while longer. :-) 

Saying Goodbye.

This morning I lost my very best friend.  It is hard to write this through the tears that just keep coming, but I consider this therapy.  Plus, since most of you knew and loved her too, I thought it would be good to inform you all what happened. 

Alyce Diamond Petterson Turzinski died this morning around 2:30 a.m.  She was 11 years old (77 in dog years), and we thought we had many more great years with her.  Or at least a few.  This was quite a shock. 

About a year and a half ago, my dad took Alyce to the vet in Norwalk (they were dog-sitting),  because he thought she was drinking too much and may have diabetes.  No diabetes, but the doc noticed a heart murmur.  He stated that as it worsened, she would develop a cough.  Eventually she would die from this (likely), but that it could be years after the cough developed.  About 9 months ago or so, she started coughing occasionally and we assumed it was from the murmur.  It wasn't too bad, and she was so perky, energetic, happy and otherwise healthy, that we were not worried at all.

3 weeks ago she started coughing so much worse that I knew something else was wrong.  Or, that she was worsening. I took her to her vet in Bloomington, and he diagnosed her with tracheal bronchitis, gave us antibiotics and cough medicine and said that she'd be better in 2 weeks.  2 weeks came and went, and she got a little better (her cough was more shallow, so we thought she was getting better??), but not much.  Saturday marked 3 weeks after that appointment, and she went down hill fast.  She started breathing very shallow, she had at least one seizure, and stopped eating and didn't drink much either. 

I took her to the emergency vet last night, and they told me that poor Alyce had congestive heart failure.  They gave us the option of trying some meds which would hopefully help to clear her lungs up for now.  Ultimately, they said, she would die from this, but the treatment could potentially buy her months or even years.  Of course I wanted to try it, as she has really not been any trouble medically at all over the years, and we definitely wanted many more years with her if at all possible. I was able to say goodnight to her. She was in a little doggie oxygen tank, and when she saw me she perked right up, wagged her tail, walked to the window and slammed right up against the hole so I could scratch her.  I didn't want to leave.  Not one bit.   

Unfortunately, the treatments didn't work. She died on her own, very peacefully (I'm told).  The vet called us several times to keep us informed, but ultimately, at 2:30 or so, that was it.  I am just absolutely heart broken.

  I hand-picked Alyce when she was 5 weeks old from several of her little schnoodle breed because she was so sweet.  She never changed.  I never needed a leash for her, she always came when she was called, she was awesome with the kids, everyone (even those who don't like dogs) absolutely adored Alyce, because she was SO good.  There has never been a better dog, ever.  We're lucky to have had her for 11 years.  I'm glad she really didn't suffer, and died quickly.  If she had to go, that was the way to go.  Though when she died a part of me went with her.

We will tell the kids tonight.  A daunting task that I am not looking forward to, but it must be done.  They will not take the news well, as Alyce was their ultimate play mate.  They were lucky to have her, and they in turn kept Alyce young at heart, frisky and very happy. 

This house is so empty...except for all the Iams, Mighty Dog and doggy ice cream treats that were just delivered for her on Friday.  And her bed.  And her food dish.  And her spirit.  Bless her sweet little soul...Alyce will never be forgotten.

On the Road Again...And Again...And Again...

  It's been such a weird week.  So rollercoastery.  I'm kind of used to rollercoastery, but it was unique this week.  Started out all good, because Samantha was so happy to be hanging out with Grandma and Grandpa (my parents) in Iowa.  My mom has a Brazilian times more energy than she has each time Sam has visited them, so she took Sam everywhere. 

Also, the sun.  The sun is out, and with a vengeance!  We've hit the mid-70's to the mid-80's each and every day this week.  I love heat, I love sun, and I love the world when it's all hot out.  I'm seriously at my best when I'm in the heat.  I had a very busy week and nailed all my meetings.  I had at least 4 new people fall in love with my selling style, and enjoy my witty meeting banter.  I'm in rare form when the sun comes out. 

I met my new boss too. I was totally worried about it, because I kind of had a somewhat lousy attitude when it was first announced.  You see, my co-worker had been vying for the spot, and I REALLY like him (as does the entire team), and we definitely wanted someone from inside the organization to be our new regional manager.  When we found out that not only was our new boss not from our own team, but she was actually not even from the software reselling industry, I wasn't the only concerned citizen.

Turns out, it's probably nice to get some new blood on the team.  We were all so used to things being a certain way for so long that I'm sure that not much would change had an internal person been selected.  As it is, she claims that us Minneapolis folks will no longer be the red-headed stepchildren, and we'll start being included with the Chicago folks on as much as possible.  That delights me greatly for many reasons.  One being, the first order of business was for her to arrange for us to come out for the Chicago team's Cubs rooftop baseball game.  We have this every year with a different vendor, but this year we aren't having our regional meeting in May (which is when we normally do the baseball game).  She's having us fly out for it anyway, as well for another training in May.  I told her that the training may actually benefit me this time, because I normally don't pay any attention during webinars. 

I feel as though I can be honest with her.  This was apparent during my webinar confes sion, as well as when I'd consumed 3 Diet Cokes and 2 glasses of water, and proclaimed that I was about to wet my pants.  Sure, one needs to realize who their audience is when being so honest, but I already read her vibe and it just fell out of my mouth like Niagara Falls (nice analogy, eh?).

The very next day I was unhappily surprised with the information that my dad was so sick from chemo, that he was being admitted into the hospital for fluids and anti-nausea meds.  I was glad they were finally taking care of him, but man, I just felt awful for the guy.  As I'd posted, I travelled down to Des Moines to pick up Sam, stay the night at the 'rents, and then drive back the next day after working here in the morning and stopping by the hospital to see how he was doing.  Not so well, but I was hopeful that he would improve with more fluids.

As I drove back home, I realized that it would probably be best if I came back down while he was in the hospital.  For one thing, my mom could use the support.  Also, it is obviously Easter this weekend, and my mom, for the first time since she was 14 had NO Easter cantata or special music program to direct and organize.  Though it would obviously be kind of awful to have the church stress AND have my dad in the hospital, I am sure that she will be kind of sad on Sunday.  The least I can do is torment her with my very best skills, and keep her chuckling all weekend.

So, today, Damon and I took off again (CK and the girls headed to Wauuuuusaaaaauuuuu, to be with his dad and mom--who is having a hard time with her own chemo) and headed back down to Iowa.  We took our time.  We stopped at the Old Navy outlet on the way down, because with all this hot weather (woo-hoo!) he needed to wear shorts...and all of his from last year give him wedgies.  So, I got him and CK tons of summer clothes.  I love buying boys their summer clothes.  They are so much easier than girls.  5 pairs of shorts each, similar styles, various shades of blue, beige and gray.  8-10 shirts that you can mix and match with said shorts all summer long.  They all basically go with all the shorts, so they have a plethora of combinations to work with (and basic...I love basic).  Lather, rinse, repeat.  Boys are easy.  In sooooo many more ways than this one. 

We also stopped to get him ice cream and me a bun-less burger, a bottle of water and cup of soda.  Then we had to stop for us to pee and get more water and soda.  Then we had to stop for gas, because I forgot to get it when I peed and got water and soda.  And then we had to stop because Damon had to pee again.  And, I really didn't care.  Normally, I'm one who HAS to just drive and drive and drive, and will hold my bladder for 3 hours if need be, as long as I don't have to stop.  It was a killer when the kids were potty training, because the quick trip to Norwalk was always interrupted at least once.  Today was so nice though, very relaxed and no tight schedule. I rather enjoyed it (and the sun beating through the sun roof, and the iPod tunes).

We get to Des Moines and stop at Mercy to see my dad.  I kind of freaked out when we left...he was awful.  His stomach was all distended, he was 100% worse than the day before, he was on morphine for the pain (which just started today), and they had started more tests--possibly not from the chemo after all.  As of right now, they have only told us that it is an "ileus" (definition similar to what I was told, but still not sure what caused it...).  Thanks.  Lots of info there.  I'm hoping to get some very pointed answers to my very pointed questions tomorrow (Saturday...at least for another 3 minutes).  Needless to say, it is pretty scary.  I think I scared my poor brother half to death, because I rarely get emotional, and I was when I left him a message. 

I may stay here til Monday or Tuesday, depending on what we find out this weekend.  I hate being so helpless...but then I realize that I *am* helping just by being here.  And, I did torment my mom tonight, and left her nearly in tears with laughter!  I hung up one of her old swimsuits with a skirt (tie-dyed, no less!) from a bathroom fixture for her to see when she got home.  It's hard to be as upset when you're laughing!

Wishing you all a wonderful Easter!

Yes, I'm Still Alive

I'm sure by now you are all wondering why it has been a couple days since I last posted.  Well, I suppose I should warn you that the wonderful world of sales, while sometimes quite slow (a.k.a. easy to set my own schedule, and possibly even occasionally screw around), it can also be quite hectic.  My 2nd quarter (calendar year) is always my very busiest, and this year is no exception.  So, from now til June 30, I may have a few days between posts.   This is a good thing, because it means that I will probably make some money this quarter.  Here's hoping.

I also had planned on typing a very clever post tonight, but that will no longer be possible.  I will be leaving in about 15 minutes to head down to Iowa.  My daughter, Samantha, has been down there this week, spending her Spring Break with my parents.  Though she has had fun with my mom, who is finding herself with a lot more energy now that she works out every day, my poor dad has found himself without energy, and sick as a dog from chemo.  He was going to meet me half-way (Mason City/Clear Lake) tomorrow to do the Sam-swap, but he just called to tell me he has been put in the hospital.  He needs fluids for a couple days from being so sick.

So, therefore, I have a slight interruption in plans, but no worries...as long as he's okay, and we're able to get done what needs to get done, then I'll do whatever it takes.  Even if it means no clever blog.

I'll have time to post tomorrow or Thursday.  Hope your week is going well!

Lots of Love, At Locks of Love

I know I just posted a short while ago, but I realized that I *did* have something important to say.  Last night, as CK and I were hanging out at our very own HH, we were discussing cancer.  Yeah, a lovely thought, for sure, but our conversation started regarding how our respective parents were doing with their new rounds of chemo.  CK's mom has the dreaded, but common, breast cancer, and obviously has issues to deal with regarding physical, emotional and understandably "appearance" issues.   With that in mind, we started discussing how either of us would handle it, if we had to deal with similar issues.  Mostly me, though, since CK doesn't have boobs, and barely has hair when compared with me. (Plus, it can be pretty cool for a dude to be bald, but not-so-common for the ladies.)

I don't think I surprised him with my opinions regarding my own feelings.  But, it may surprise one or two of you.  If I was told that I had a small, cancerous lump in my breast, I would say, "Take the whole boob.  In fact, take both, just to be on the safe side."  I know I am young, and boobs are pretty important for many things, but 1) I'm (I believe) quite finished having children, so there would be no practical use for them; and 2) I'm married to someone who is not focused on looks, and would much rather I be healthy, than endowed.   And, honestly, I could care less.  I might get prosthetics for under shirts and stuff, but I doubt I would get implants or anything.  Maybe I would, but I doubt it.

The other thing that is hard for some women, is the hair loss thing.  Now, I honestly have this awesome head of hair.  For that I am grateful, and can definitely say that my hair is my best physical attribute.  But, I wouldn't care in the least if I lost every last bit of it, to disease, chemo, or something else important.   I probably wouldn't even get a wig.  I would want to educate the world, via my shiny, bald head.  I mean, it DOES grow back, so what's the big deal?

I know that is kind of rare, pretty weird, and not exactly orthodox, but honestly...that's how I feel.  I wouldn't worry about anything from the looks perspective. 

This got me thinking even more about the hair thing.  Most people DO want hair, and children who have to go through this awful plight often have a much harder time with their looks and peer pressure, and self-confidence.   And, then I remembered that once again, there is something I can do! (Don't forget about the Breast Cancer 3-Day walk I am requesting donations for!) Wouldn't it be cool, since I have such a lax attitude on my hair, to GIVE it to those in need? 

This morning I looked up "Locks of Love" on the internet, and realized that I'm pretty close to having the required 10 inches of mane to donate.  And, of course, since I can always grow my hair back, I think I will just grow, cut, donate...grow, cut, donate...grow, cut, donate...etc.  For as long as I can.  Simple as that.

So, be on the look out for me sporting a new, short 'do in the weeks to come.  I have to measure first, because I'd hate to cut it off and have them say, "Oops!  It's only 9 3/4". We can't use it after all, but thanks anyway!  Nice hairdo, Butch!".

One Good Thing

"More than 200,000 new cases of breast cancer will be diagnosed in the United States this year and more than 40,000 American women and men will lose their lives to the disease"

.....................................................................................................................................................

You know, I'm not the most philanthropic person on the earth, but I always find myself wanting to do more for others.  Wanting to help in some way when catastrophe hits, or if anyone I care about is hurting.  I often don't do enough, and I often let others do the helping, while I sit by and watch.  Or, I'll give some money to a good cause, or furniture, toys and clothes to Goodwill, but I still have been set apart in one way or another to the hurt anguish so many people in the world are either stricken with, or accustomed to.   

It is actually sad that I haven't done more in my lifetime.  It is too bad that we weren't brought up with many philanthropic examples.  Not that my parents were *bad* people, that's not it at all.  It's just that...well, they didn't have the money to help out financially, and they didn't have the fortitude to do so either.  I think it was always something that "someone else would do", and even though they were very kind and thoughtful people, my brother and I grew up likely feeling the same ways about helping those less fortunate. 

Now, my brother caught on fairly early and has done a lot since moving to California in 1988.  I think I caught on too, but didn't know how to go about doing more.  He belonged (and belongs to now) to a church which helps people to understand why and how they should help.  But since I'm a heathen and don't belong to a church, it kind of falls on my *own* fortitude, planning, and initiative. 

So...I haven't done a lot, other than hope, pray and wish for others to make it through whatever it is they are going through.  I eventually figured a few things out, and did start doing things occasionally, such as serving Thanksgiving dinner at homeless shelters.  Granted, I only did that a couple of times, but it was a start. 

After 9/11, I felt totally helpless, even though I didn't know anybody who was directly affected by the events of the terrorists.  I had just had my son 4 months prior, and for some reason just felt this incredible sense of protection for my children.  I hated the fact that I brought children into such a violent and hateful world...and suddenly I had to do more.

In October of 2001, I (along with support of a couple of co-workers, Edith being the main Helpy McHelper) put together a fundraiser at work: a silent auction to help benefit the families and survivors of the 9/11 attacks (United Way 9/11 fund).  Together, we gathered donated goods, services, airline miles, etc, and successfully raised thousands of dollars.  Our company matched what was raised, and the total we sent to the fund was somewhere in the neighborhood of $10,000.  Not bad, considering our company was *maybe* 120 strong at that time (and now it is practically non-existent).

Since then I have given money to more and more charities, and donated almost all of my housewares and home goods to the Goodwill, since CK and I have more than enough between the two of us.  But, obviously, so much has hit us in the past several months, and again, I want to, and CAN do more.

My dad's inoperable pancreatic cancer...CK's mom's aggressive form of breast cancer, just recently diagnosed...those are two things which are affecting us very greatly, yet we cannot control.  One thing I *can* help to control, is how I can help future women and men either prevent their own cancer, or treat their cancer *effectively*.   I want my daughter to avoid breast cancer.  I want my niece to avoid it.  My stepdaughter.  My friends' daughters.  My friends' friends' daughters.  My granddaughters...all women (and men, for cryin' out loud! It is CANCER research, after all!), they deserve my time and effort. I CAN raise money for cancer research.  I CAN make a difference. 

And, of course, because I'm very...um...tenacious once I have set my mind to something (some may call me stubborn), you know that I will more than surpass my goals.

I have decided (as a few of you know, from the email I recently sent you) to do the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer 3-Day Walk in the Twin Cities.  Let me tell you a little bit about the event, via cut-and-pasted verbiage from the 3-Day website:

About the 3-Day

Thousands of women and men will unite in cities across the country and walk 60 miles over the course of three days. It's a weekend of hope, as we honor lives lost, celebrate survivors, promote breast cancer research, and help bring breast cancer care to those who so desperately need it.

Net proceeds from the Breast Cancer 3-Days benefit the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation to fund breast cancer research and community outreach, as well as the National Philanthropic Trust Breast Cancer Fund, to provide an endowment for breast cancer initiatives.

This is a very crazy event, I'm coming to find out.  First of all, I have to walk for about 7 or 8 hours/20 miles for 3 days in a row, and camp at night with total strangers (and you know how shy I am...this is a stretch).  Secondly, I have to raise $2,200.  That is a lot of money.  And, I can't afford to foot the bill.  Now, logic would say that if just 22 of my friends and family donate just $100 each (and I *know* that I know more than 22 people!), that I could hit my goal very easily.  But, seriously, not everyone can afford $100.  Not everyone can afford to do anything, and I MORE than understand that.  But, I can still ask, right?  And, there are still many other things I can do to raise the money (NO, not *that*...sheesh, get your mind out of the gutter!). 

Not only do I plan to raise money the old fashioned way--by asking-- but I also plan to have a couple of really fun fund raising events.  I'm still working out the details, but will keep you all posted as time ticks on. 

Of course this is a really good forum to talk about what my goals are, and what you can do to help me (and if you can't, don't want to, or simply hate my guts, I will completely understand, as long as you continue to read my blog!), so I will keep you posted here as to my progress.  I obviously have some hurdles to jump, bridges to cross, and so on, such as my impending knee surgery, recovery and rehabilitation.  I also have 16 weeks of a formal training program to complete, shoes to be fitted, socks and other gear to be purchased, a tent (I think?), sleeping bag and other gear to haul around, as well as stock to purchase in Band-Aid, since I'm sure to be quite blistered after 60 miles of walking.

Anything you are willing to do to help (if you can't help from a financial standpoint, perhaps you are willing to help me with the fund-raising events?) is so appreciated.  I just hate sitting around watching my father and mother-in-law suffer, and possibly die...while I do nothing.  Please, please help me to do "something".   You have no idea how much it means.

And, for those of you who are complete pigs...you'll be saving boobs, if you help me out. ;-)

Follow This Link to visit my personal web page and help me in my efforts to support The Breast Cancer 3-Day

Thank you.

.....................................................................................................................................................

"One woman is diagnosed with breast cancer every 3 minutes. Every 13 minutes, the disease claims another life in the United States."