Minnesota "Nice", Down and Dirty

We're Getting Closer!!

Simon, resurrected.  Do read my most recent email from my soon-to-be lover, Mr. Coborn:

In response to Mr. Coborn's thoughtful email, I sent an equally compelling one, just to let him know how I feel about him:

Dear Coborn, who will be delivering for me:

I just wanted you to know that I was absolutely ecstatic to hear that you were taking over Simon's duties!  If it hadn't been for Simon, my life would be more like it is today: hectic.  With 4 kids and a 2-career household, I was more than happy to pay for Simon to do my shopping for me!  The day I heard Simon was dying a cruel, quick death, was a day I shed an actual tear.  Partially for Simon, but mostly for my own sanity.  It's been rough ever since, with the kids practically having to siphon crumbs off the floor, as the cupboards are bare and refrigerator, empty.

The day I heard you were taking over, was pure glee for me!

Thanks again. I plan to be ordering just as SOON as I get the word from you, that you are open for business!  We shall once again be grocery lovers. 

Kind Regards,

Susan Petterson Turzinski

It's Hard Working For This Company!

I work for the world's leading IT research company.  It's a fantastic company, with many, many extremely smart people.  These smart people have come up with pretty much every way that companies *should* run their IT department, and in reality, their companies.  From what technologies they should use, to what they should implement and when.  As well as very important security measures.  Seriously, if everyone followed the "best practices" recommended by my company, they would probably never have problems with their technology, or security breaches.

Let's take, for example, our password change requirements.  Now, I've worked for high-tech companies for the past 11+ years.  They all have had requirements on passwords.  I have never EVER had to work SO hard to change my password in all my life!  The whole process took me probably 3 days of trying (not constant, but off-and-on), and several, SEVERAL iterations of the password I wanted to use. 

Check out these requirements:

Your password must:

• have at least 8 character(s).
• not be longer than 10 characters.
• not have punctuation marks.
• have at least 3 letter(s).
• begin with a letter.
• have at least 1 digit(s).
• not be constructed from a dictionary word.
• not be an exact dictionary word match.
• not be your profile ID or name.
• not be your profile ID or name reversed.
• not contain your profile ID or name.
• not contain your profile ID or name reversed.
• not be your profile ID or name with the letters rearranged.
• not be an old password.
• not have more than 2 pair(s) of repeating characters.

Your password should:

• not contain a dictionary word.

This was seriously a difficult chore for me! I finally got it done.  *Whew*!  I guess my password is safe now.  Even *I* can't remember it!

How I Jinxed the Vikings

My darling other half, Kevin, is not a Vikings fan (he bleeds green for the Packers, being from Waaauuusaauuu and all). However, Kevin DOES like to boast to all his friends and colleagues who *are* Vikings fans that we live a couple doors down from Tavaris Jackson, QB of the Vikings.  Well, sort of QB for the Vikings after this week.  And, here's where my story starts.

Kevin promised a client of his that he would ask Tavaris for his autograph and has been toting a Vikings football around (much to his dismay--HA!) for the last 3 months. Maybe 4.  I could tell his courage of just going over to Tavi's house to get said autograph was waning as time ticked on, mostly because he asked me to go with him.  Then, he asked me to maybe do it for him one day.  I'm fine with that, except it wasn't me who promised it!  "But you're the Vikings fan, not me!".  "Well, you're the one who promised Blake you'd get it...not ME!". 

And, so it went. 

Finally 2 weeks ago, I said that I would bake a batch of warm, gooey cookies for Kevin to take over ("Sure, I'll go with you"), as a peace offering so as to break the ice with Tavi, before going in for the kill and asking for said autograph.  Kevin had to apparently print up some pictures first, and procrastinated on that, so by the time he was ready, Tavi was gone...already on his way to Green Bay for that Monday night's game. We gave the cookies away to everyone we saw, so as not to waste (or gain 50 pounds).

The next week, I did the same thing.  Baked TWO batches of gooey cookies (two different kinds, for variety...plus it was raining out and I was bored), and wanted to get them to Tavi before Sunday's home game.  Again, had to get photos printed, and again he procrastinated (I tell ya, he is chicken!!), and the cookies sat for 2 days.  Finally, I'd had enough!! (!!)  Kevin was gone to a client event, so he couldn't go with me, but I was damned if I was going to eat 3 dozen cookies and still have to make yet another (probably eaten by me AGAIN) batch of cookies the following weekend.

So...I took them over myself.  Sans Kevin.  I don't know why it was so hard for me once I got there, being fairly friendly and all, but I made a bloody fool of myself!  He's really quiet and kinda hard to talk to, probably because I seemed like a crazy, sick lunatic who brought arsenic-laced chocolate chippers to the house of the QB who had just blown the Vikings' first two games.  But, I TOLD him that they were...ahem...*MAGIC* cookies!  I promised him that they would turn his game around!  He would kick ASS this week.  He said, "Great, I sure hope so!". He promised to sign Kevin's stuff when (IF) he brought them over, so that was nice too.   And, after leaving (completely winded, mind you, since I talked a mile a minute, in my frantic, crazy neighbor-lady way), I felt like, "Hey, we could be buds!  If he isn't scared by me, which he probably should be".

There was a lot more dialogue than that, and you actually might be totally amused by it ("We have a keg on tap ALL the time!  Bring your football buddies and come have a beer and play shuffleboard with us!" As if he EVER would), but that's not what this is about.

Kevin still hasn't taken stuff over to be signed.

And Tavi...was replaced by Gus Frerotte.  The very next day.

Cookies: Not. So. Magic.  We're expecting our house to be egged any minute now.

The New Batman Movie--A Complaint

Am I the only one who thinks that half the hype of this movie is because Heath Ledger is in it, and he's all dead and stuff?  I'm sure it's a decent movie, but I really have no desire to see it.  Heath Ledger just kinda pisses me off, because he's now turned a pretty okay (not great, yet) career into him being a "tragic loss".  Whatever.  He made idiotic choices, despite having a loving fiance and adorable baby girl who needed him, left them (or they left him because of the drugs), and then killed himself by overdosing.  There's nothing tragic about that, in my opinion.  It's lame, and I think all the excuses people have made for his bad choices are lame too.  Reminded me of River Phoenix, other than the baby part.  Sadly, Mathilde is probably better off not having a semi-present father who pops pills or snorts coke all day long. Blah.

Okay, off my soapbox...enjoy the movie if you go!  I, however, will not be.

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Here's what almost $400 worth of groceries and booze looks like from Simon Delivers.

There are actually 8 bags of softener salt, but a few are hiding beside the bench.  And, when the delivery driver was leaving (at 5:45 on Friday), he told me to get any additional orders in first thing Monday morning.  Unfortunately, when I got on this morning, SIMON ALREADY SHUT DOWN!!!  I couldn't believe it. He'd said it would be Tuesday or Wednesday.  Sad. :-(

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Let's get to a few cute kid pictures.  Tyler before, and after his most recent haircut.

And here is a picture or two of the boys eating brekkie on Saturday morning, as we noticed a doe a deer a female deer just outside the window.

And, so, that is it for now.  My mommy and my friend Stacy are coming to visit today.  Mommy (and I'm cracking up at my use of the word), because Samantha is in a musical this week, and she wanted to go to tomorrow's matinee.  Stacy, because she is coming for work and I forced her to stay at our house, drink our beer, soak in our hot tub, and play shuffleboard and cards with us so I have someone to play with.  Hotel be damned!  She's staying with us!

You ought to see my roots.  I desperately need to get my hair done!  I look like a reverse skunk.

What Shall I Buy Myself?

I'm such a whiny baby about my birthday.  Seriously, I love my birthday so much, because it's really the only day all year where it is truly "my day".  I know a lot of people don't care as much about their own birthdays, and truly my childrens' birthdays are WAY more important. I want them to feel like their birthday is magical, because I'm so grateful to have them.  And, being a kid and having a birthday is just so cool. 

But me...I'm old now, but I suppose I haven't really grown up.  And, I hope I never totally do.  I feel like I still deserve that one day a year to have it be kind of magical.  Again, I LOVE to make others feel all special and happy on their days too (well, my husband and kids anyway), so whatever.  Deal with it, and spoil me with well wishes!  And, Kevin can spoil me with presents.

Except that he hasn't yet, and my birthday was nearly a month ago.  So, do I continue to wait?  Or, if after a month has passed, do I just go buy myself something?  Here's the deal:  The day before my birthday, Kevin came to me and told me that he couldn't think of one single thing to get me!  I don't know if he was trying to get out of buying me something, or what, but with all the hints I drop over the span of 12 months, that is a lousy excuse. 

Not to mention the fact that even if he buys me something lame like a sewing machine or golf clubs (like he got me for Christmas), I would love that he thought of me, and thought I would like such a gift (which I know I will with the sewing machine and golf clubs, once I actually learn how to use them).  So, he could have gone to Target or something, picked out a margarita maker, not even wrap it and hand it to me, and I would have been tres happy. Or, even something for the house! But did he?  Nooooooooo...and now, almost 30 days later, I am margarita maker-less, and completely giftless. 

All I know is, the fact that I'm complaining about it on a public forum must make you realize that this type of behavior will NEVER be okay, so I hope that wasn't his plan; to let this one slip, next one slip, etc.  Especially after all the thought I put into his gift-getting times of the year.  It's only fair, eh?  Just try to come up with something clever.  Doesn't have to be expensive...    And, I'm interested in your thoughts on the topic.  And, feel free to tell me I'm being a selfish b*tch. ha ha!

P.S. Here's a picture of Kevin with HIS birthday gift.

Them's Fightin' Words!

Note to daycare lady:  If you "fire" our child for no reason, we're not going to just roll over and be all nicey-nice and say, "Ohhhh...that's okay, I'm sure we can just take this nicely and not feel like sh*t that you just treated us this way."  Kevin and I put together a fairly wordy (and very justified) email that basically just stated the way that we felt about things.  Now, I already pretty much had my peace with her, mind you, since I talked with her live. Kevin didn't want to do that with kids around, so this was his way, I was only the facilitator (though yes...I totally agreed with everything, I was just kinda done already). I should have let it come from HIS email address, because now she thinks that he is totally fine with everything, and I'm this mean horrid person.  Of course, I am upset about it, but whatever.  If she wants to have a scape goat, just because I have no problem with face-to-face confontations and Kevin prefers to avoid them, then that's fine.  I've dealt with tougher things in life, so I'll be the scapegoat. It annoys me that now she's getting all passive-aggressive about it now.  Whatever. That's something I detest about a lot of people in the midwest.  They refuse to talk about how they feel on something, and will play all fake nicey-nice.  I refuse to do THAT.

I'm done venting again now. Heh.

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So, now I'm totally lovin' the weather.  It is hot and sunny out every day!  Hot, meaning, nice.  Like 80's and 90's.  I could do that all day, every day.  And, it is so lush and pretty in our back yard!  I couldn't ask for a lovelier view!  Unless we were on the water.  That would be better, but certainly way more expensive!!

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Can you even BELIEVE that the 4th of July is coming next week??  Of course it is *the* best holiday of the entire year.  Bar none.  I could easily spend an entire week celebrating.  In fact, maybe I just will.

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We are done with birthdays til Kierstyn's in March.  Thank the lord.  We had 5 in 2 months, plus Father's Mother's and Memorial Day, not to mention all the last days of school and such too.  It was ridiculous.

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Anyone watch "America's Got Talent"?  Ridiculous.  Must watch.  Train wreck.  That trombonist? Hilarious!  Not talented. Those rapper dread-lock dudes who played those violins like nobody's bizniss?  Sea bass.  Them's got some talent!

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See? I have not much to say, but I'm determined to make liars out of y'all who seemed to be voting to the left that I'm totally lame.  So what if I am?  I'm entitled. I'm THIRTY-FREAKIN-SIX now!!! 

After More Than 3 Weeks...

Our brand-new ridiculously expensive washer is working again!  (And you thought I was going to say, "I've posted again!", but no, it is about laundry--ha ha!) The good news: it was only "out of commission" for 1 1/2 weeks.  It just took another week (plus) to get another part for all the electronics to work properly, but at least I could do laundry again!  Imagine 6 people, no laundry for 1.5 weeks. 

I had absolutely no time to go to the old house to do laundry during that time, so we were really going through the drawers digging up old favorites (and praying we'd find a clean pair of undies!).  One time I *did* have to break down and hand wash a load of undies, but at least the dryer was working (rolling eyes here).  I was just about to go on a starvation diet, just so I could fit into that damn prom dress, since that's about all I had left in the closet!!

I must say that the "fine folks" from A&E, whom Whirlpool apparently outsources all their repairs to in most areas, really sucked.  I would never ever ever ever ever ever ever (infinity) use those idiots if any of our other appliances take a puke.  In fact, I wouldn't use them at all if it wasn't free.  It was absolutely painful.  I won't bore you with why and how much they suck, just suffice to say that you shouldn't use them either, if you can help it!

We. Had. So. Much. Laundry.  I have basically been doing laundry non-stop since last Thursday.  Well, it was non-stop (literally) for 2 days. And, since I do a load a day here just to keep up, you can imagine how much laundry was crammed into our (thankfully large) laundry room!

LAUNDRY PROBLEMS = My supposed excuse for being lax in posting yet again. Plus, I'm SO BORING these days!!!

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On another note, can I just tell you how weird it is that I know ALL of the songs and lyrics from Kenny Rogers' "The Gambler"?  My friend Kim and I listened to that tape over and over and over again when we were kids, probably around 9 or 10.  Sadly, all that music really stuck in my head.  That, and several of Lionel Richie's, which we used to listen to in Tami's bedroom over and over again..."Helloooooo, is it me you're looking for...?". Ah, Lionel. 

Ah, Kenny.  Poor Ruby's hubby was really crushed when she left him to go out on the town, while he sits there with his shriveled little legs all messed up from Vietnam.  Ruby, that little hussy.  And Lucille picked a really fine time to leave her man too.  Stupid Lucille. He has 4 hungry children and no crops in the field!! What's a man to do??

I remembered all this the other day when I heard some Kenny Rogers muzak in an elevator and started to sing along, much to the delight of my elevator-mates, all of whom were complete strangers.  I just couldn't help it.  Plus, I knew it would elicit a laugh, which is a goal of mine on a regular basis. 

Then, I started talking about KR's really cheesy new face-lift, shiny new wife and small child he recently fathered. (Nobody in the elevator really listened, or cared). Anyway... HE DOESN'T EVEN LOOK LIKE KENNY ROGERS ANYMORE!!  I really can't listen to any of his new stuff now.  Only "The Gambler" tunes.  Sorry, Kenny. It's just not you anymore: you're trying to hard!

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Speaking of my birthday, does anyone have ideas as to what I can put in these HUGE spaces in our great room?  To give you perspective, the clock in the picture is 4 feet across, and the TV is a 52".  So yes...those spaces on either side are HUGE. Seriously, I have no idea what to put there or how to decorate there.  I was thinking a sculpture, but where can I look?  Ideas please. 

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I hope all my Iowegian friends are doing okay!  I imagine at least one or two of you are affected by the flood.  What's up, kids?  Fill me in!

Musings

"One of these things is not like the other..." (Not a pic from my house, but mine looks similar!)

How many of you live in a fairly new neighborhood?  You know, the ones where they don't have any wires or cables or lines of ANY sort where the human eye can see them going into the house.  We live in an area where they do all that buried/underground wiring and cabling.  While it looks pretty nice, each yard *does* have to house a main utility box, usually right in the front yard, and usually fairly front-and-center. 

While this alone doesn't really bother me (because let's face it, it is still better than a huge utility pole or two in the front yard, just waiting to be backed into), I must laugh at the way people try to blend it in with the rest of the landscaping.  I mean, even if you plant like 3 bushes around it, it STILL just looks like a utility box with 3 bushes planted around it.  It does not make me (or anyone) believe that it is indigenous to the yard, nor does it look like one of the other bushes.  Perhaps if one pasted branches all over it...

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So, am I the only one who is sick of how freakin' cold it is all the time?  I mean, please people.  I'm getting really close to having to agree with my hubby that global warming may not even exist.  Give me the greenhouse effect NOW!  Give me 90 degrees, every single flippin' day.  Make me sweat.  Make me do too many loads of underwear because the kids sweat through 3 pairs a day.  Make our electric bill be crazy expensive because we have to cool this blasted house down.  Make us turn the heat off in the hot tub, so we can swim in it to cool down!  MOTHER NATURE, I NEED YOU!!!

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Speaking of Cheetos (well, thinking of them, anyway), I am digging the "Natural Cheetos".  They are the fluffy kind, and they don't make everything around you bright orange when you touch things.  They melt in your mouth, and my baby loves them.  AND, they actually are semi good for you!  Seriously, they have some nutrients.  Justification for snarfing the entire bag ANY day of the week!  I'm not sure if you can get them anywhere in the world, but at my local Super Target, they are a-plenty.  I can't find them at Cub Foods or Rainbow, but that could be because I don't look there.

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Let me just reiterate my current love affairs.  My "men" haven't changed in a while, and I am growing ever-fonder of them both.  Neither can touch my hubby, as far as usefulness goes, but they come in a close tie for 2nd. 

1) Craig.  His list is amazing.  I have sold my kitchen table ($400), oak hutch ($200), pool table ($500), and now our HOUSE!  At the very least, we have it rented.  We find out tomorrow if we found actual buyers.  Either way is totally sweet, because our mortgage will be paid for OR completely gone.  YIPPEE!  Yea for Craig and his list!!

2) Simon.  He delivers.  Sometimes, even same day!  And, their drivers are always SO friendly and efficient, and the last time they delivered they gave us a free case of SimonDelivers water.  It has served us well, with the kids needing them for track and stuff.  Also, when we moved, Simon gave us about 30 bins to use just for the move!  When we unloaded them, we just set up a bin pick-up!  That saved us about $200 or more in bin costs, and to be honest, who needs that many bins, unless you're moving!  I seriously think I ought to talk to their marketing department about having that be a secondary business for them, so on slow grocery days, they could merely rent out their bins to movers who don't want to buy or find a bunch of their own boxes or bins.  I would have paid for that service, but luckily I was smart enough to ask for the freebies, and they haven't figured out that they COULD charge for it.  Yea Simon!

Have You Ever Seen One??

Okay, so here are two pictures of our basement, and the two "goodies" that Kevin *had* to have.  The pool table was one, and the shuffleboard was the other!  How fun is that?? It's 14 feet long, and is nice since even the kids can play it without much trouble.  Did it deserve to be pushed up the budget ranks?  Probably not.  But, oh well! Sorry it took so long for me to post.  We had some family issues going on, not to mention another birthday.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAMON!! He just turned 7 on the 28th, little sweetheart. 

4 More Days...

I will wait, til I get a few more responses and guesses on what Kevin HAD to have for our house, other than the pool table.  I had a few "phone-in" guesses:

*Trivia video game

*Pac-Man

*Slot Machines

*Pinball

No, no, no and no.  I swear I have really only seen these in bars in Minnesota and Wisconsin...not in Iowa. But that doesn't mean that they don't have them in bars there.  In fact, they probably do. 

On Friday I will post pictures of what the last item is, UNLESS someone guesses first! 

As for the prom dress...okay.  I will have Kevin take a pic, but you have to concede that I'm absolutely desperate to keep my readers interested!  And, once I fit into it better, you HAVE to tell me how great I look in it.  Black velvet be damned!

Stay tuned...